Japan X Reader :: Unloved

"-and then the whole day just fell apart from there!" You were pacing back and forth. Trying to explain how miserable you've felt lately – as if your entire life has been falling apart.

Your best friend, Kiku Honda, patiently waited for you to finish as he sat on your couch. Listening to your story from start to end; giving you his complete undivided attention.

You stopped pacing as tears welled up in your eyes – the pent up frustration and stress over the past few months finally taking their toll on you. "Kiku…? I - I just don't know what to do anymore. It's almost like…. I just……………… _{feel so unloved….} but I don't know how to explain how I feel! It's like I'm not loved enough…? Maybe what I'm saying doesn't even make any sense-" Your voice chokes up as tears begin streaming down your cheeks uncontrollably. Embarrassed, you try to hide them from your Asian friend - who had already noticed.

He started, then rose from where he sat to embrace you in a much-needed hug. Kiku held you close, his chin resting atop your head, and whispered, "______-san, if you need to let it out, then go ahead." At his words, you began to sob loudly into his left shoulder. Kiku continued to hold onto you; gently stroking your hair; his deep voice reassuring you.

After crying for a few minutes, you finally start to calm down. Kiku carefully extracted himself from your hug just enough to lift his arms up and place his hands on either side of your face. His dark chocolate eyes bore into yours. "Daijobu desu ka, ______-san…?" Still sniffling, but somehow enveloped in a foreign emotion that made you feel warm and fuzzy inside. "Yes…thanks to you, Kiku." He leaned forward, resting his forehead against yours; eyes closed as he murmured, "I'm glad." Realizing your noses were almost touching, you couldn't help your cheeks from flushing.

Then just like that, it was over. Kiku walked over to your coffee table to pick up his phone – which he then seemed to search through with an intense gaze and purpose. Your curiosity was dying to know what he was up to, until his head shot up, "Do you have any plans tomorrow night, ______-san?"

"Eh? Ah…well, no – none as of yet…"

"Then, how would you like to come over to spend the evening with me? We could even go visit the fair together if you'd like. I think it's their last week here in town, and I know how much you've been dying to go."

Your face broke out into a huge grin. "You know all too well what makes me happy, don't you?"

He smiled warmly. "I like to think that I do, yes."

You both laughed. Soon after, Kiku tells you it's about time for him to leave so he can be rested for work in the morning. You couldn't help feeling a pang of disappointment when he said that – secretly wishing internally that he could somehow stay with you every night.

Watching him walk out and climb inside his car, a sudden thought occurred to you. Dashing through the doorway, you paused at the end of the patio - cupping your hands up to your mouth. "MATTE KUDASAI, KIKU!! Do I need to bring anything tomorrow…?"

Pausing, he straightened - standing with his car door open. Then he leaned back on his heels, looking upwards thoughtfully with his cheeks gradually growing a light shade of red. "Nope - Just you."

Before vanishing from the driveway in his sleek bright red car, he turned to smile and wave, then was gone. Walking back into your house, you couldn't help but wonder why your face felt so hot after Kiku said to bring "just you".

***

For the first time in years, you found yourself nervous to see your best friend. Recalling the previous night's events, you couldn't shake the feeling Kiku had something up his sleeve. He had texted you earlier today, asking you to come over to his apartment immediately after you got off work dressed up, and bring a comfortable change of clothes. You chuckled softly to yourself. You wore your slim-fitted dress that went down past your knees – colored black with a light emerald green sheen to the cloth, you've been told it highly complimented your eyes.

Determining there was nothing left to lose; you took a deep breath, rang the doorbell to his apartment, and waited.

When Kiku opened the door wearing his most fashionable navy-blue Yukata (not to mention the one you had, in the past, told him he looked best in), he quickly ushered you inside - placing a blindfold over your eyes. "Quick – close your eyes!"

Laughing, you asked, "What's this all about, Kiku? It's not even my birthday!"

Blindfolded as you were, you could almost see his smile. "You'll see."

Kiku guided you a distance and sat you down on the floor before untying the blindfold. It took yours eyes a moment to adjust, but once they had you let out a startled "Ah…!" - gaping in astonishment.

The lights were dimmed – his kotatsu table covered neatly in Japanese tableware, dinner ready, with a few candles scattered around the room and one enormous candle centered on the table.

Kiku maneuvered himself and sat down across from where you sat. Voice confident, he asked, "What do you think?"

It took you a moment to find your voice – shocked, and also very confused. "K-Kiku? Did you plan this for me all on your own…? I mean, why-" You paused mid sentence when your friend placed his right forefinger to his lips to hush you.

"Don't worry, ______-san – this is something special; intended only for you. Let's just take a break from everything that's happened lately and have fun for a change." He poured cherry blossom tea into your cup. "Now, shall we dine to our heart's content?"

Following your nod of agreement and your face testing a new glow of pink, you each placed your hands together in front of you, bowed your heads and said the blessing. "Itadakimasu."

***

Kiku wasted no time in dragging you to the fair – barely allowing time for a quick change of clothes.  Once at the ticket booth, Kiku insisted on paying, and walked closely beside you when you made your way into the boundaries of the fair. You glanced around, closing your eyes as you inhaled all the sights and smells of the fair – snack-foods, people wandering all over the place searching for their next ride…and Kiku smiling; standing right beside you - you suddenly found yourself blushing all the way up to the tips of your ears. A peculiar emotion arose in your chest; as you were trying to decipher it, you felt a hand tenderly take yours. To your astonishment, it was Kiku's – who in turn asked, "Is something wrong, ______-san? You seem hesitant, and your face is all red."

Quickly recovering, you shook your head quickly. "Naw, everything's great!"  Your hand tightened around Kiku's as your excitement rapidly boiled over - hastily pulling the Asian along by the hand, exclaiming, "Haiyaku, Kiku~!! I want to go on ALL the rides!!"

And you did – though Kiku insisted there was only one ride he wished to go on before leaving, and refused to tell you until darkness drew nigh. But when that moment finally came, it wasn't quite what you were expecting.

You felt weak in the knees. "Th-the Ferris Wheel…?"

He happily nodded his head. "Yes, honto ni. I enjoy the faster paced rides too, but there's something about the Ferris Wheel that I love. The way it takes time to spin itself all the way around…smooth, sturdy, yet somehow elegant…"

He seemed to be referring to something else by the way he spoke, but you didn't have time to analyze that. Just how were you going to tell Kiku this? "Umm…Kiku? I-" you hesitated, before blurting it out. "I can't ride the Ferris Wheel with you because I'm scared of heights!" You quickly covered your own mouth, gasping out of surprise as if you had just cursed the president of the United States to his face.

Kiku stared at you for a long moment, before smiling kindly – placing his arm around your…waist?

"Fear not, ______-san. I will be with you through it all – nothing bad will befall you. Trust me and I promise I'll protect you." Your face grew hot, but you tried to let your hair overshadow your expression – hoping he didn't take any notice.

As you stood in line with your best friend, he turned to ask you, "I don't understand something, ______-san – I thought you loved heights? All the fast rides we took tonight dealt with heights in one way or another."

You diverted your gaze from his face. "Well…to be honest, I've always kinda been afraid of heights. Most of those rides strap us in tightly – and you're going so fast that you hardly notice how high up you really are. But in a Ferris Wheel…it turns slowly, giving one plenty of time to ponder your distance from mother earth…" Your voice trailed off, unable to finish your thought.

His brow furrowed a little, but his voice brimmed with concern. "Would you prefer us not to go?"

Reluctantly, you nodded – until you saw the pang of disappointment etched in his expression, then you changed your mind. "Naw, I'm just kidding! I'll do it just for you."
To your secret delight, Kiku beamed at you and held you close the rest of the time it took to approach the Ferris Wheel entry. Standing at the bottom, you looked up – it seemed to be towering right above you. Even though the evening breeze was warm enough, you felt yourself trembling. The Japanese man bent near your ear, whispering words of encouragement – you gradually calmed down, but had a feeling your face would probably not cool down for awhile.

You both took your seats. As soon the Ferris Wheel began to turn, you stiffened - gripping the bottom of your seat as tightly as you could. Kiku placed his right arm over your shoulders, gently pulling you closer. "______-san, relax – if you need to, you can hold onto me…"

Taken aback, and momentarily forgetting about heights, you glanced upward at Kiku's expression to see if he really meant what he was saying. His eyes were looking forward – his face a light shade of pink. Just then, the wind lurched your seat-cart, and you immediately grabbed a large handful of Kiku's shirt – snuggling up tight against his side in alarm. You close your eyes – deeply inhaling to try and calm yourself…then found yourself instead concentrating on how Kiku's clothing smelled much like that of sweet cherry blossom petals he'd brought back with him from his home country.

Before you knew it, the ride was finished. You slowly released Kiku's shirt and looked up at him. He beamed at you – smiling in the perfect way he does, with a little pink still coating his cheeks. You smiled sheepishly and made your exit – breathing a sigh of relief after feeling earth beneath your feet again.

Grinning, Kiku approached you and lightly patted your back. "There now – that wasn't so bad, now was it?"

***

After visiting the fair, you both returned to his apartment – spending the rest of the night speaking about every possible subject known while relaxing on his sofa. Over the course of the night, what space may have been in between you two initially would eventually be limited to a few millimeters.

"-and so Alfred asked me if Yao and I even KNEW what was going on by the time we actually reached the end of the School Conference meeting. I started to answer, when Ivan came rushing out of the hall and stole Yao's Hello Kitty doll from his very back! Yao started chasing him in a circle around Alfred and I – until Ivan tripped and the doll went flying….right into Natalia's arms! Ivan then had a very upset Yao on his hands whilst attempting to retrieve the doll, but she refused until Ivan agreed to at least consider dating her."

You wiped tears of laughter from the corner of your eyes and playfully shoved your Asian friend, giggling. "Wow, Kiku – the craziest things must happen before and after your meetings, huh?"

Chuckling he gently grabbed your cheek and agreed. "Yes, sometimes they do."
A little shocked, you stared up into Kiku's face. As sweet and affectionate as your friend could sometimes be, you couldn't hold back your question any longer. "What's gotten into you tonight, tomodachi? You're never quite this affectionate with me – especially all in one evening like this."

His cheeks reddened as he averted his gaze; uncertainty underlying his tone. "D-does it displease you…?"

You rapidly shook your head back and forth. "No – of course not! I was just surprised, that's all…"

He smiled at you, then glancing at the time let out a deep sigh. "As much as I hate to shorten our time together, ______-san, I don't want you getting home too late. You should probably get heading back."

You merely nodded your head, stretching your arms up with a yawn – too tired to disagree. "Alright, that might not be such a bad idea, actually."

He showed you to the door. You turned around to hug him tightly, expressing relief and gratitude. "Arigatou gozaimasu, Kiku-san…tonight was the greatest stress reliever, and one of the best evenings I have had in a VERY long time. I am so blessed to have someone like you in my life." Pulling back, Kiku rested his hands affectionately on either side of your arms, staring deep into your eyes. "______, before you go, there's something I-" He stopped, holding himself back, and seeming to change his mind, said something else. "You know you are welcome here any time, ______-san."

You gave him a peculiar expression, then smiled, and turned to go….but not before your eyes locked with his. But as if locked in your own time space continuum, you found yourself unable to look away. His eyes shone bright like dark brown jewels – seeming to emanate their own light and not the rays reflected from the moon. Abruptly, you were suddenly overcome by that same foreign emotion experienced earlier at the fair. It only seemed to rear its head whenever you were in close proximity with your friend Kiku Honda…then finally, what eluded you before was suddenly quite clear: it was LOVE.

Instinct drove your actions then, and you boldly ran your fingers up through locks of his soft, rich, dark-black hair. Out of an uncontrollable growing need to feel him closer to you, you reached with your other hand over to softly stroke his left cheek. "…Kiss me, Kiku Honda."

Kiku's eyes widened in shock and surprise before opening his mouth to speak - but your lips were already against his.

Stunned, Kiku let you kiss him – neither kissing back nor pushing you away. Your cheeks flushed out of embarrassment, fear creeping into your thoughts, yet fully realizing there was no turning back, you continued - trying to express your emotions through your gentle caress of kisses. Unexpectedly, it didn't take him long to follow your example – beginning to gently suck and bite at your lips with an almost overpowering eager desire as your own.

His hands moved from your arms to your back; rubbing warmly - pulling you closer until both the length of your fronts were completely flat against each other. Feeling bolder, you wrapped your arms around his neck; clasping your hands on the opposite side.

He carefully pulled you back through the doorway with him – quietly shutting his apartment door. Stumbling to get to the couch, he laid you down the length of the sofa before pressing down and kissing you passionately. Hands groping each other, sexual desire growing, you reached your hand smoothly under the neck of his shirt – starting to pull it off – but then he hesitated, pulling back; breathing heavy. "______-san, maybe we should stop…"

Terror gripped your heart – realizing your error was in fact real. You began to stutter, attempting to explain yourself. "K-Kiku, I-I'm sorry I – my emotions, they…"

Cutting yourself short, you scrambled to get up off the couch and made a dash for the door. Afraid to hear what you were sure he'd say, what he now thinks of you… you knew you just couldn't bear to hear him say it and wanted to run. But as soon as you rose, Kiku firmly grabbed your right arm, preventing your escape. You tried yanking your arm free, but the Asian refused to release you. Immediately breaking down into tears, but keeping your face covered with your left arm, you dropped to your knees apologizing profusely. "I'm sorry…I'm so sorry Kiku…I don't know what came over me…I don't know why I thought it'd be okay…"

Kiku moved down off the sofa, placing his other hand on your shoulder to turn you around so you were facing him. Your tears felt like they were blinding you, but you refused to wipe them away nor look up. Kiku spoke reassuringly. "______-san, it's okay. I -"

"I don't know what made me think someone as handsome, kind, and wonderful as you could ever love someone like me!!"

Kiku froze, but you proceeded – panic already ripping through your system; adrenaline pumping faster. "I'm such an idiot, Kiku…if you could just forget about what happened tonight, I'd be so happy. I don't want to lose you or our friendship – can you find a way to forgive me, Honda-kun…? Please…"

Kiku sat back on his hunches – hands still atop your shoulders. You continued to look downwards. At first he was silent, then in a voice barely above a whisper, said, "I cannot forget, ______-san…nor can I forgive you. Sumimasen…"

You automatically began to weep bitterly – your heart felt torn in two; a gut-wrenching feeling in your stomach. Why was it the one good thing in your life was suddenly going to be taken away, just because you accidentally lost control over your emotions? How were you going to survive?? You cursed yourself internally – the answer was vividly clear: without Kiku Honda there, you knew you couldn't live…he has always been there. Always…

Then you felt two warm hands firmly but gently cup your cheeks in theirs, lifting your tear-stricken face up into the light. You continued to sob, keeping your eyes closed; shivering. Kiku softly cooed you. "Shhhh….", and then pulled your face right up to his until both your lips made direct contact with his.

Your body went numb. Kiku kissed you now with a kind of tenderness you have never felt – his breath mingled with yours as you exhaled, which provided Kiku with the opportunity to slip his tongue into yours. Taken aback, you jerked your head a little but Kiku's hands held you in place against his soft, moist lips. His tongue slowly swerved all over the insides of your mouth, as if mapping it out for later use; each time his tongue touched your own, his would lovingly make a licking-motion against it, before continuing his pursuit to discover every inch and detail your mouth had to share. Shocked as you were, you savored ever movement he made – his sweet taste completely enveloping you. After a few minutes, Kiku pulled back; keeping his hands locked in place so your forehead was against his – inhaling deeply as you held your breath.

"K-Kiku…….?" You softly whispered, almost soundlessly.

His shy smile stretched from ear to ear, his cheeks cutely blushing. Eyes sparkling, he answered you. "I cannot forget, ______-san, nor can I forgive you….because I LOVE YOU."

Your jaw dropped. "N-N-N-Nani?!"

"You're so silly, ______-san. Whatever made you think you're not good enough for me?" He flashed you that all too familiar charming smile of his that made your heart skip a beat; lovingly stroking your hair. "From the first moment I saw you crying on the park bench by yourself on my way home from class one day, I knew you were the one. At first I was in denial, but that quickly changed once I started to get to know you. You're the sweetest girl I've ever met – generous, caring, adorable, thoughtful, and so much more. No matter what has happened, you've always been there every step of the way – supporting me, when sometimes no one else would; cheering me up when I was down; giving me the strength to persevere… ______-san, after two years of all that – how could I not love you?"

Afraid it was still too good to be true, you had to know. "Then why'd you pull away earlier…?"

He hesitated for a second; an embarrassed look on his now fully blushing face. "…I've been waiting so long for you to reciprocate my feelings, I'm afraid I might lose control of myself…"

Convinced his feelings were genuine, but still plagued by insecurity and doubt, you sniffled as your eyes welled up again. _{"…b-but I'm not pretty enough for you."}

Leaning in to peck you on the lips, he disagreed. "Do I not have a say in that department? But you are correct in one retrospect: you're not pretty...you're absolutely beautiful."

Kiku nuzzled your face as he wiped tears from your soaked cheeks. You embraced each other then – holding each other so tightly you thought your ribs might break from the pressure. Lifting your right hand to gently pet Kiku's hair, you felt as if your heart was overflowing.

Suddenly Kiku's body seemed to shudder. You felt his lips press delicately against the side of your neck. "______-san, daisuki desu." Your body jolted a little in surprise as his tongue slid from his mouth against your skin – slowly moving in the shape of a heart. You tried to muffle the small moan that escaped your lips. After a moment, Kiku pulled back just enough to where his lips were a hair's breath away from yours. Your cheeks flushed, but he kept his eyes closed and quietly said. "I'm about to lose control of myself…but if you ask me to stop, know that I will." His eyelids flew open – dazzling you with the intensity of his gaze; catching your breath.  "There is no one but you for me, and for you, I'd do anything."

At that, Kiku leaned forward and began French-kissing you. Feeling him so close and intimate seemed to conjure a large number of indescribable emotions you had never felt before – all you could manage to do was try pressing yourself closer to him. His arms held you tightly - body warmth soaking into your own; even through the clothing you could feel his growing bulge starting to press against your crotch. The feel of his smooth, rough tongue wrestling against yours, the warmth of his touch, his smell – everything began reaching new heights very quickly was almost too much for your body to bear. You were finding it increasingly difficult to think, but just gave up on that altogether – letting your heart immerse itself under Kiku's showering love.

You felt no qualms as you both began yanking the clothes off each other. When you looked down to see that you were both down to only your undergarments however, you turned your head to the side out of embarrassment. Kiku was sucking at the pulse on your neck when he saw your reaction. Puzzled and not to mention a little worried, he asked. "What's wrong, ______-san?"

Seeing the concern mirrored in his eyes, you smiled reassuringly and kissed his cheek. "Well, to be honest…this is the first time a man has seen me almost completely naked, and it's a little embarrassing. I've never shown a guy anything past my bare shoulders before…" You unconsciously looked Kiku's body up and down for a second, causing him to do the same thing, making you laugh. He raised an eyebrow at you - giving you a quizzical expression. "I've never seen a man this naked before, either." To your surprise, Kiku's smiled stretched from ear to ear at this news. Blushing worse in embarrassment, you were prepared to defend yourself when Kiku rubbed noses with you.

"Believe it or not, this is the first time I've seen a woman without her clothes on, too."

Your jaw flew open as you stared blankly at him in disbelief. "A-are you serious?! I'd have figured someone as wonderful and handsome as you would ha-"

"-'done it' already? No. I wanted to make sure certain things were done only with the woman I truly cared enough about to mar-" He stopped abruptly, cheeks rosy again.
Smiling, you felt your heart pound against your chest. Your fingers twirled through his black hair absentmindedly. Mentally aware Kiku had accidentally slipped up on something unintentionally; you both decided to ignore your own interruptions to continue.

Kiku began neatly planting kisses all the way down your neck, at different times sucking resulting with hickeys all over your shoulders. Moaning in pleasure (as you were unable to hold them back), only encouraged his prolonged sucking and biting. He stroked the length of your sides with his hands - which caused you to shiver and your hormones to go wild. Glancing south, you noticed Kiku's bulge pressing tightly against his fundoshi. Careful not to distract the Japanese man from a very pleasant action he was doing now to your chest, you reached down to untie it.

Unbeknownst to you beforehand was the level of difficulty it would take to untie the cloth, even causing Kiku to pause what he was doing to chuckle. "Here – let me help you." Embarrassed and shy, you watched him release and toss his fundoshi aside in seconds – fully exposing his erected member.

Curious, you stretched out your hand to seize it – but when Kiku groaned loudly, you drew back  your already timid fingers. Shaking his head, he gently pulled your hand back to where it was. "You can if you want…it…feels good…" Encouraged, you gently began rubbing his stiffened member. Kiku gradually lost control as his purrs turned into gasps and moans. Soon, Kiku was lying on his back as you maneuvered to pleasure him further by placing your mouth over his Mt. Fuji. It didn't take long before a sticky, white-liquid burst forth – it tasted strange, like an almost bitter-sweet flavor.

Kiku lied still for a moment, and then leaned forward to peck kisses all over your face, slowly making his way back down past your neck to your chest. His hands reached down to grab your butt-cheeks; hoisting you up so your bellybutton was at his eye level – using his tongue to toy at the small hole. You giggled in spite of yourself, showering his head with loving kisses. Then Kiku carried you like so to his bedroom, lying you down on his bed so he could climb up over you on all fours.

Moonlight fluttered through the blinds – combining with the perspiration coating Kiku's body, he looked to be adorned entirely with glittering jewels. He smiled down at you, panting, but the happiest you had ever seen him. Bending his face down to first kiss your lips, he moved his head down beside your eardrum to whisper, "You are so beautiful, ______-san." Then lightly nipped your earlobe.

Just as quickly, you felt one of Kiku's fingers slip down underneath your underwear to lightly prod your feminine entrance. Shifting uncomfortably for a moment, you whimpered in uncertainty; drawing concern from the Japanese man who went to remove his hand from the area below your waist immediately. "Sumimasen. I didn't mean to frighten you-"
You shook your head. "I'm not scared, Kiku…" Moving your hands up to pull Kiku's face down into a kiss, you whispered, "Everything is new so it makes me nervous, but I want my first time to be with you."

Taking the Japanese man completely by surprise, he stared at you in shock. With a little encouragement of your hips bucking up against his Mt.Fuji, Kiku's cheeks flushed, but took the hint and resumed where he left off. It didn't take long for Kiku to completely arouse you, and less than that before his Mt. Fuji entered you. Gasping out as your virgin walls were cut, Kiku's strong arms held you close – reassuring you through both spoken words and cautious, steady movements.

Somewhere inbetween ragged, shaky breaths, your skins touching, bodies rising and falling with each thrust, did you both fully whisper your sincere love and endearment for each other. Each responding to the other's confession in your own way – you by clinging tighter, kissing him harder, and gasping his name out in quick rasps – and he by making your back arch even more in the sheets, seeking more of you even after he had already climaxed.

***

Exhausted, you both laid next to each other – Kiku still softly planting your body with chaste kisses, but with noticeably slower movements than earlier. Snuggling up against his exposed form, you let out a happy sigh. "I'm so happy with you, Kiku… I don't ever want this night to end."

Kiku stopped pecking you with kisses, holding you close; sharply inhaling. "______-san….there's something I…I know what I'm about to ask is selfish, but I can't help myself…" You twisted your neck up to see his face, your eyes bright with hope. "…Would you please stay by my side?"

"A-are you proposing to me…? Or-"

"W-well, not exactly…because I don't even have a ring yet, but-"

Affectionately taking his hand in yours and pressing the palm against the side of your face, you began to cry in happiness. "Kiku Honda….whatever you ask of me, my answer is yes. I love you with all of my heart and more."

Unexplainable joy and excitement must've coursed through Kiku at that moment, because you were suddenly overwhelmed by kissing, biting, and entanglement of body limbs as he struggled to stay calm. Laughing, you just buried yourself into the warmth of his strong embrace.

Now as for what would happen in the years to come, you had no idea. All you knew was that out of every potential woman in the world, Kiku had chosen you and only you to be his. Love, as you would come to recall repeatedly, was only complete and satisfying when shared with your other half.